You better watch out, you better not cry…
Santa’s been pretty naughty this year, if the internet is any indication.
By any objective measure, Santa Claus is a frightening character. He dresses in garish red and never shaves, he spies on young children while they sleep, he can break into anyone’s home and help himself to their cookies, and if he arbitrarily decides a small child doesn’t meet his standards for “nice” for whatever reason, that child will get lumps of coal instead of presents for Christmas. So it’s no wonder that he often inspires terror instead of joy.
Throw in all the Santas out there who climb on rooftops, try to drive a sled without proper training and/or drink too much eggnog, and you’ve got an annual parade of jolly old elves who royally screw up for the internet’s enjoyment.
Happy holidays, everyone.